Jesus sacrifice on the cross brought us forgiveness of sins. He redeemed us to God. We can have a relationship with God. We can pray, worship, read the Bible and He reveals himself to us. I don’t know how God does it, I just KNOW He does. When I am struggling emotionally I begin to turn my focus on God and worship Him. The things around me didn’t change, but being in His presence helped me to focus my thoughts on God. I am allowing Him to work and move in my heart. I am then filled with peace instead of anxiety.
After the birth of our second daughter I experienced this peace that passes all understanding. I had a miscarriage four months before I found out I was pregnant with Alyssa. My hormone levels were not at the levels that they needed to be. This brought feelings of depression, anxiety, and worry. During pregnancy these feelings subsided as my hormones were at proper levels, but came back with a vengeance after I gave birth. These feelings were so strong they totally invaded my life. I felt as though I was in a dark pit trying so hard in my own strength to climb out. I would try my best to climb out but would quickly slip and fall feeling like I just fell deeper. This emotional turmoil was in part due to post partum depression. I also realized that is was a spiritual battle. I needed to seek medical attention as well as dig in like never before to scripture.
2 Corinthians 10:4 says the weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. That is the Word of God that can demolish these strongholds. I began to write scripture on 3 x 5 cards and place them by the kitchen sink, by bedroom and bathroom. I prayed the Word over my life every day.
During this time of intense emotional turmoil as I memorized scripture and prayed it over my life God began to work in a miraculous way. He pulled me out of me emotional despair. The path that God led me to dive into scripture during this time has stayed with me. I studied scripture before, but God walked with me through this journey to show me His grace, mercy and strength. He also, gave me such a hunger and love for studying His Word. He revealed Himself to me in such a way it is hard for me to express in words. His word is the source of my life.
I know I am designed by God for His purpose. Satan’s plan in the Garden to deceive, steal and kill is still very real today, but Jesus paid the price. Jesus died on the cross for my sin, shame and pain. His blood covers my life and sets me free. Even though there is enmity between Satan and woman we can arise in God confidence knowing He designed us for victory.
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